Those who can, do;
Those who can't TEACH.
from the movie - 'The Perfect Student'
Those who can't TEACH.
from the movie - 'The Perfect Student'
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Learning:
CASE 1:
A crow was sitting on a
tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." so, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Learning:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
CASE 2:
A turkey was chatting with
a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,
"but I haven't got the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Learning:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
CASE 3:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Learning:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
CASE 4:
The boy rode on the donkey and
the old man walked.
As they went along, they passed some people who remarked "it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding".
The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk."
They decide d they both would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride.
So the both rode the donkey! Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey".
The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry the donkey.
As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
Learning:
If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your >>>
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." so, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Learning:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
CASE 2:
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,
"but I haven't got the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Learning:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
CASE 3:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Learning:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
CASE 4:
As they went along, they passed some people who remarked "it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding".
The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk."
They decide d they both would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride.
So the both rode the donkey! Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey".
The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry the donkey.
As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
Learning:
If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your >>>
CASE 5 :
The secret is finally
revealed:
On the first day God created the cow.
God said, "You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer
under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give
you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog.
God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who
comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."
On the first day God created the cow.
God said, "You must go to field with the farmer all day long and suffer
under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give
you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog.
God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who
comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."
So God agreed (sigh).
On the third day God created the monkey.
God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."
Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
On the third day God created the monkey.
God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."
Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man.
God said, "Eat, sleep, play, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way, man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."
Lesson:
So that is y for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family ; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren ; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.
On the fourth day God created man.
God said, "Eat, sleep, play, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way, man. Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."
Lesson:
So that is y for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family ; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren ; and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.
One Line Humor !!
[] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
[] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
[] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
[] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
[] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
[] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
[] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
[] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
[] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
[] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
[] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
[] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
[] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
[] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
[] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
[] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
[] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
[] Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.
[] Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
[] Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
[] It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
[] There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
[] There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Joke
Customer
: Waiter, do you serve pigs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi .
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
Customer : How much is the rate of banana ?
Salesman : 1 rupee.
Cus : 60 paisekku varadha??
Sal : 60 paisekku thol than varum.
Cus : Intha 40 paisea. thola vachukittu palatha kudu
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi .
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
Customer : How much is the rate of banana ?
Salesman : 1 rupee.
Cus : 60 paisekku varadha??
Sal : 60 paisekku thol than varum.
Cus : Intha 40 paisea. thola vachukittu palatha kudu
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
QUOTES ABOUT INDIA
Albert Einstein said: We owe a lot to the
Indians, who taught us how to count, without
which no worthwhile scientific discovery could
have been made.
Mark Twain said: India is the cradle of the
human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother
of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great
grand mother of tradition. Our most valuable and most
structive materials in the history of man are treasured
up in India only.
French scholar Romain Rolland said: If there is
one place on the face of earth where all
the dreams of living men have found a home from
the very earliest days when man began the dream
of existence, it is India.
Hu Shih, former Ambassador of China to USA said:
India conquered And dominated China culturally
for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single
soldier across her border.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Lessons in Logic
I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
..........................................................................
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
..........................................................................
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
..........................................................................
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
..........................................................................
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
..........................................................................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
..........................................................................
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
..........................................................................
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
..........................................................................
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.
..........................................................................
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
..........................................................................
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
..........................................................................
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
..........................................................................
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
..........................................................................
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
..........................................................................
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
..........................................................................
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
..........................................................................
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
..........................................................................
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
..........................................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........
education ruined me.
..........................................................................
Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?
..........................................................................
If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
..........................................................................
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
..........................................................................
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
..........................................................................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
..........................................................................
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
..........................................................................
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
..........................................................................
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.
..........................................................................
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
..........................................................................
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
..........................................................................
Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
..........................................................................
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
..........................................................................
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
..........................................................................
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
..........................................................................
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
..........................................................................
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
..........................................................................
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
..........................................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........
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